Endings and beginnings are hard for me. I’m a sentimental and very anxious person. But I handed in my notice at my minimum wage job at the afterschool daycare, and I started a new parttime job in Stuttgart. Between financial worries . are we going to be able to afford our upcoming utility bill? – and my growing desire to finally work in my actual profession as an historian, the writing’s been on the wall for a while.
Still I had an incredibly hard time giving up my daycare job. It was frustrating and disillusioning and infuriating more often than not, but I desperately loved working with these at-risk children. There was a profound, genuine meaning in this work, and even though on the surface it might seem miniscule, I’m happy about every time I was able to make the life of one of my kids even a little bit better.
I nearly cried several times on my last day at the daycare, as I was showered with love by the children and my colleagues. This is a gift I’m going to take with me into the future. Everytime I catastrophize and only see the worst in myself, I’m going to remember how cherished and valued I felt that day. That said, I’m really happy at my new job so far! I’m working in an institution for the cultural representation and promotion of the history of German minorities in Eastern Europe. This means I can combine the principal topic in my studies with my love for working with young people. I’m feeling motivated and creative for the first time in a while! (It’s going to take me a bit to get used to an office job again, though.)